I want Graham.
Glad you could join us.
Hollywood's come a-calling tonight.
Laura Linney, say the words.
Let's start the show.
Oh, hello!
Hello!
I know, you saw that, you saw that.
Good evening, you're all so welcome to the show.
Everyone feeling good?
CHEERING As one, they roared.
And no wonder, cos there's a bit of showbiz stardust in the air tonight.
My guests couldn't be more glittery if they'd been standing next to Keir Starmer at the Labour Party conference.
Aw!
Poor Keir.
Still, good practice for Strictly.
On the show tonight, we've got a Hollywood star and some of the biggest names in comedy.
So, let's get some guests on.
Later, I'm so happy, we'll have music from pop supergroup Sugar Babes.
Actual Sugar Babes here.
But first, she's an award-winning comedian, presenter and now author of her memoir, Living My Best Life, hon.
Please welcome London Hughes.
Hello, darling.
Hi.
Have a seat, dude.
Hi, darling.
He's a true comedy great, the star of groundbreaking sitcoms The Young Ones and Bottom.
It's a first-time welcome to Adrian Edmonton!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Thank you.
Thank you.
Hello, sir.
Have a seat, dude.
And she's been making us laugh for over 30 years, from the comic strip to French and so on.
And of course, the Vicar of Dibley, always a pleasure to welcome, Dawn French!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Have a seat, have a seat.
Thank you.
And she's a triple Oscar-nominated star of stage and screen, now starring in the heartwarming drama The Miracle Club.
It's a warm welcome to Laura Linney!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Have a seat.
Welcome, everybody.
Lovely to see you all.
We'll get to your rosette later in the show, Paul.
Is it homemade?
Yes, it is homemade.
And welcome back, Laura.
Nice to see you again.
Thank you.
Now, I don't know, are you aware that you are on the sofa with three comedy giants?
Royalty.
Oh, yes.
Absolute royalty.
I am very aware.
Yeah.
Well, Dawn and Ade, obviously, I believe you know each other.
We know each other very well.
I've actually slept with Ade.
But I let Jennifer marry him.
Oh, that's so nice of you.
And then you talk about tele-sleeping, obviously.
So you've vetted, you've vetted.
I have licked your bosoms on television.
You have?
You have!
Oh, that's right.
OK.
Yeah.
We didn't find that clip.
And London news, do you live in LA now?
I do.
Do you?
I do.
I'm very fabulous.
Why would I live here?
No, I'm joking.
Britain's amazing.
But you're back.
Does your mother think you've moved back?
This is the thing.
My mum's, like, very British, so she's... In her mind, I'm there on holiday, and I've been there for four years now.
And every time I come back, she's like, are you sure you want to live in LA?
And I'm like, I do.
I live there.
That's her.
She's so sweet.
She's here now.
Mumsie, you here?
Oh, God.
That's how it feels.
She loves, like, all this British television.
She loves all British TV.
Not enough to be here, but yes, she loves it.
Now, Laura Linney, you are here tonight to talk about a film.
And, of course, because of the strike, we haven't had actors talking about films and things.
But you are allowed to talk about this film.
I am allowed to talk about this film because this film was granted what's called the Interim Agreement, which is...
It is not a waiver.
It is not a pass.
It is an agreement that the smaller production companies have, in this case Embankment and Zephyr, with SAG-AFTRA, my union.
These smaller companies have agreed to everything that SAG is asking for in advance.
So they have said, yes, yes, whatever you want.
Yes, we agree to the contract that you are going after.
As opposed to the larger legacy companies and the streamers, who at this point are saying no, and unfortunately just walked away.
I know.
They just walked away today.
So that's just so heartbreaking for all of us.
But these smaller companies are supporting the artists who help them make the things that they then are able to sell.
And because of the interim agreement, I'm allowed to discuss this film, this film only, and everything dealing with this movie.
You said that perfectly.
Oh, good.
Well done.
Thank you.
And also, it's that thing that you're allowed to talk about this film, but we can't even mention anything else that I've been in.
No.
So all I'm saying is, please know, we love all your work, but we will not speak of it tonight.
I have to say, I haven't seen anything she's been in.
Right on, Aide, right on.
Solidarity.
Okay, so let's talk about what we can which is Laura's new film.
It's called the Miracle Club and it is out in cinemas today and What a cast you Maggie Smith Kathy Bates and then the young Irish actor Agnes O'Casey O'Casey who's amazing.
Yeah.
Yeah So tell us about it.
What is the miracle?
Why are you in?
Yes, this is a group of?
Women who I grew up in an Irish town with Maggie and with Kathy Aggie is of course younger who I have not met I have been away in the United States for 40 years.
You find out why I leave during the course of the movie.
I come back I Reintroduce myself to these people who I have not seen in a long time.
They then win a trip to Lourdes To take the waters.
Yeah, I go with them and things happen.
Oh
Listen, as an American, were you aware of Lourdes before this script?
No.
Well, I'm also not Catholic, so I had not heard... Now, I had heard of, you know, the miracle of the water and Bernadette and all of that, but I had not... I did not know about Lourdes.
Oh.
So, I was a real... I learned a lot.
And this is set in the 60s, but it's still a big deal.
Yes.
Absolutely.
Like, buses still go.
Tens of thousands of people a year.
Yeah, it's a big, big deal.
Wait, what is Lourdes?
Yes.
It's Madonna's daughter.
Bust loads of people go to see it.
It's miraculous.
I know it's a place in France.
Well, you know.
It's in France.
It's a small town in France.
There's a pilgrimage, a Catholic pilgrimage that's there, because the Blessed Virgin Mary came down and presented herself and touched, and where she arrived, where she perched herself on the rocks of Lourdes, water sprung up and then created these pools of healing water.
So people will go,
many people who are a firm, yeah, and will go in searching of a miracle in one form or another.
So this group, of which I'm lucky enough to be a part, they all go searching for their own miracles.
And when you go, like, there's a... It's sort of in this grotto-y thing, but the grotto, it's loads and loads of crutches and walking sticks and they're all hung up on the wall.
Have you been?
Yeah.
Oh, you've been.
Look at me!
I know!
You've probably seen it before.
I mean... He's 95.
Well, listen, we've got a clip.
This is you as your character Chrissie, settling into Lourdes with your old friends.
And, by the way, because keyboard critics will be standing by, you're not doing an Irish accent.
No, no.
I lucked out.
Yeah, you're full American.
Here we go.
It appears I am sharing with you.
Look.
A bazooka.
Isn't it beautiful?
Is there only one bed?
If I wouldn't have fussed.
Well, I am not my mother.
Ain't that the truth.
What does that mean?
Show some respect, Chrissie.
This is a holy place.
Father's taking us to the grotto.
The grotto.
Presumably, one of the big reasons for doing this movie was Maggie Smith.
Well, absolutely, of course.
I mean, she is just a titan.
And every second I had with her, I adored.
You know, they say, don't meet your heroes, but I was lucky because she's been extraordinary.
But you'd met her before, hadn't you?
We had met before.
I did a one-woman show here a while ago and she came to see it.
Wow, wow.
I almost fled the theatre when I heard she was there.
And then she decided to do a one-woman show as well the following year.
So we started talking about what it was like, and she was asking questions, and we became friendly.
And then we made this movie together.
So it's been a real privilege, a real total joy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And talking of meeting heroes, you tell a story about being in Los Angeles.
You were directing... Yes, I've been to Los Angeles.
Was she in Los Angeles?
Yeah!
You were doing a video.
Yeah, when we did the comic strip, Norman and I, I started directing when I was doing that, and I did the second episode of Bad News, and I made a promo in it for the band.
And it went down quite well, and then other bands started asking me to do promos for them, so I did.
Zodiac Mind Warp and the Love Reaction and Squeeze and the Pogues and things like that.
And I did a load in a year and won an MTV award.
Hey!
An astronaut.
A little astronaut.
I've won two prizes for vegetables, one for making a video and none for comedy.
LAUGHTER But this prize got me out to LA to make this video for a band that's not been heard of since.
And I was busy making it in the Charlie Chaplin stage.
Yes.
Wow.
And I don't know.
I was aware, as we were shooting, there was a kind of kerfuffle in the corner and a sort of psychic wave.
And I sort of looked around like that and peered like that, and peering back at me from the corner, it was quite a long way away, was Joni Mitchell.
Oh, wow.
Oh, my goodness.
And I thought, oh, that's Joni Mitchell.
And, yeah, that's her on the screen there.
Look at that.
And...
I didn't know what to do, because was I supposed to be staring at her?
I mean, she wouldn't break the gaze.
It was like a tractor beam on Star Trek.
And I kept on looking, and she started striding towards me quite fiercely.
Oh.
Yeah.
Wait, have you slept with her too?
No.
What have I done to her breast?
And then she started running and sort of pumping her fists, and I thought, she's going to hit me.
And she got to me.
And as she got to me, she threw her arms around me like this.
And I thought, oh, Christ, she doesn't know who I am.
And then she pulled back like this, came back and kissed me on the lips.
Ooh.
Platonic kiss.
Yes.
No tongues.
Yeah.
Sex best.
And then she held me at arm's length and said, Adrian.
Adrian.
Whenever we have young ones' parties, I always play Vivian.
I know.
What an accolade.
I know.
And what I love... What I love about that story is that somewhere in the world, there must be photographs of Joni Mitchell dressed up as Vivienne.
We must see them.
And, Laura, in The Miracle Club, you don't do the Irish accent, but you have done accent work.
I have.
In nameless films.
I have in nameless films.
Nameless films that don't exist.
And on stage, that's correct.
Oh, on stage?
We can talk about that.
Yes, we can talk about that.
What you got?
What did you do?
Did I do is but you know school stuff primarily, okay, you know, I think I dabbled in with the Scots a bit and you know Various things that you try and usually don't do very well at and occasionally you hit it out of the park But you know, it's always it's always a little risky.
So I was very relieved.
I didn't have to do It on this one because it wasn't in death in the night.
Yes, they wanted you to be an American.
Oh
Yes, we were cast, Jennifer and I were cast as two Americans in that film.
In fact, I was playing the part that Maggie Smith played in the original.
Wow.
Miss Bowers, who is the nurse companion to Jennifer.
No spoilers.
You know what I mean, lick you up the legs.
Anyway... Spoiler.
Yeah, spoiler.
Major spoiler.
But, yeah, we... Sir Kenneth of the Branagh cast us as two Americans, and we went to the read-through, and, you know, we were trying very hard at the accent, and when Fatty, who's, you know, Jennifer to me, when she started, I thought, yeah, well done, she's sounding really good.
I thought, we're going to pull this off.
And I did mine, I took a deep breath and gave it the full Yankee Doodle.
Give us a few.
No, no, never.
And so everybody was very happy and we went off and we started, you know, we were due to start filming on the Monday, that was the Friday, and I got a phone call five minutes after I'd got in with one of the producers going, Dawn, we've had a little rethink.
And I thought, oh, no, I've been sacked, they want Lumley.
Because that's happened to me before.
But she said, we're thinking you should play it English.
So, you know, haven't been sacked, just rubbish at the accent.
I can't do any accent.
I'm really... I can do a bit of West Country, cos that's, you know, that's where I'm from.
Yeah.
But really, almost everything else.
You know, like, people who think they can sing and they really can't?
Right.
Which I'm also one of those.
But I really can't do accents, so I admire anybody who can.
I really do admire it.
Cos London, in... LA, you live.
In Los Angeles, where I live.
You live, yeah.
Do you prefer to hear?
Yes.
Do you have to alter your voice?
All the time.
Like, for a country that speaks English, they don't understand English.
They all think my voice is in blackface.
It's so weird.
They don't understand what's coming out of my mouth.
And so I'll be like, can I have some water?
And they'll be like, huh?
And I'll be like, oh, I'm sorry, can I have some water?
And they're like, OK.
And then they're so crazy.
And they don't think that they... I'm sorry, I'm talking about your people.
Go right ahead.
In front of a legend.
But they don't think that they have an accent.
So they'll be like, oh my god, I love your accent.
And I'll say, oh, I love yours.
And they're like, I don't have an accent.
You have an American.
They don't get it.
I think it's because they've got no free health care.
I don't understand.
I don't know.
It's very crazy.
Very crazy.
I love when, every once in a while, I'll go to the theater here and I'll
See someone doing an American accent and I can tell the what the actor has used as resource Yeah, like someone will sound all of a sudden like Woody Allen Oh, yeah, like someone will come on and Woody Allen's cadence will come out or you know They'll pick someone typically who they think is mine is Kardashian.
Oh My god
Very quickly, Laura, do you have any inkling, I know bad news today on The Stripe, but do you have any inkling when there might be some good news and you might get back to work?
Today's a big blow.
Yeah.
Today's a big, big blow.
We were really hoping that everything was on the right track and, you know, unfortunately, clearly, talks broke down and let's hope that we can evolve soon.
All right.
Well, in the meantime, there is a film you can go see, Laura's film.
It's the Miracle Cop, and it's in cinemas now.
Thank you very much, Laura Linney!
Dawn French has a new book.
It's called The Twat Files.
Yay!
It's out now.
And this is a kind of a reclaiming the word kind of thing.
It is.
I mean, I suppose I'm trying to start up a sort of anti-perfection league, really, because I realise that I've made so many mistakes in my life, and we do all try to cover our mistakes, don't we?
We get embarrassed about them, we're humiliated about them, we have shame about them.
And then I thought, well, why am I carrying all of that?
Actually, these mistakes are where I've learnt the most.
They're where the fun is.
So if you can wrangle back all that shame and sort of shine a light on it, it's like shining a light into darkness so it just dissipates.
If you own your mistakes and say, I was a total twat when I did this, this, this or this, it's very empowering.
So I thought, well, I'm going to just tell loads of stories.
It's really alarming how often I have been a twat.
Yes, I mean, look at the size of that book.
There are hundreds of stories, you know.
I think the book could have been a lot bigger, don't you?
I feel you're right.
You're absolutely right.
That's right.
But, you know, imperfections are great, aren't they?
That's surely volume one of eight.
It's true.
And you do tell lots of stories.
There's some kind of classic genre.
Yes.
Tell us about being invited to the James Bond premiere.
Yes, that was pretty bad.
Well, I don't really... I'm very lucky.
I've got a PA, right?
And I'm really bad with technology, so I don't really get emails that come directly to me.
So I get little bundles of emails that are important.
And I was invited to the premiere of the latest James Bond film, which had been delayed for two years because of Covid.
So this was the ticket.
But I'm very bad on the red carpet.
It's not my natural home at all.
I don't like the dress and the... I'm not very good at any of that.
So I thought, well, look, my PA knows that I'm going to say no to this.
But I'll respond to her in a way that will make her laugh, and she'll send a polite no onto the people.
So of course, I started typing.
Laura's ahead of you.
Yeah, remember, I'm bad with technology.
And I just, honestly, lots of swearing, which I won't do now.
But I said, this will be full of the usual.
twats in the industry.
It would be another one of those wonky red carpets.
I'd rather have my eyes pecked out by diseased pigeons.
I'd rather have my tits munched off by rabid, wild dogs, frankly.
So, a polite, no, thank you, send.
I thought, oh, that will make Sue laugh.
I was a bit surprised when, a couple of minutes later, I got a response directly from the PR department at the James Bond film where I'd sent that directly!
And they said, erm, thank you for your speedy response, we totally understand.
Oh, dear.
And then some of them I feel are out of your control.
Yeah.
Like, there's the one where you're getting anaesthetic.
Oh, I know.
That's so terribly embarrassing.
It's sweet, though.
It's so embarrassing.
I was having a little tiny procedure, nothing for anyone to worry about, a little girly thing.
And... Oh, actually, even I'm interested in that now.
I'm interested to know what I was doing.
Anyway, I had this little tiny thing, and the surgeon was there, he said, everything will be fine, here's the anaesthetic.
I went under, you know, he told me to count back from ten, like you do, and the next thing I knew, I was coming round, I was delighted to be in the recovery room, still be alive, all of that was lovely, and he came up to me and he said, well, that's all gone very nicely, and it was all very quick.
Do you remember what you said to me?
I went, um, no.
I thought I was just counting backwards.
He said, no.
You said, um, I'm a national treasure.
Be very careful with me.
Wait, how?
What was that?
Actually, actually... Why?
..it's awful.
Why?
Number one, it's true.
It's true.
That's exactly what you say.
But I'm wonderful that that's how you feel underneath.
Yeah!
That's your own inner truth.
Do you know the difference of that is that it's such a non-British thing to do.
No, I know.
I was so ashamed.
But you know, I still did want him to take care of me.
I'm a twat!
I'm a terrible twat!
Actually, we're saying the word a lot.
Laura, are you familiar with the word?
Well, yes.
Do you find it offensive in any way?
No.
Excellent.
You are also a twat and I welcome you to the show.
It used to be a lot ruder than it is now.
Do you know, my mum used that word.
That's why I find it... Well, there's twit and twat.
Twit and twat.
But twat, I think, is an admonishment with a hug.
It's a gentle slap.
Oh, no.
You don't get... If I say, oh, stop being such a twat, eh, you're not going to be offended.
And I've often called you a twat, actually.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, and you like it.
You like it.
Yes, I do.
But I meant to say... I love it when you swap dirty.
Yeah.
It's great to have a good title a London show to catch a dick What I think so sweet about this is that asterisk it's like what other word I
Come see my show.
So I don't swear in front of my dad.
So he calls it to catch a duck because we never He never swears.
I never swear.
So i'm like, you know my show to catch a duck and i'll just say to catch a duck So yeah, literally has he seen the show he has not he has not watched it.
That would take some explaining He said there's some things a father need not know about their daughter I've seen the show.
He's right
Oh, yeah, you came!
Yeah.
So, Graham came to the show before Kevin Hart saw it and produced it as a Netflix comedy special, but before then, Graham was there, one of my big supporters.
Thank you, Graham.
But, no, it's an amazing show, and if you haven't seen it on Netflix, do.
And then, Ade, your sitcom Bottom, which is a great title, but, again, not the title you wanted.
No, we wanted to call it My Bottom.
Just so that continuity announcers would have to say, and next on television, My Bottom.
People talking about her work the next day would say, have you seen Whitmer in My Bottom?
He's tremendous.
He's doing some tremendous work.
Have you seen what's on My Bottom?
Next week on My Bottom.
I really love My Bottom.
I should have recorded My Bottom, actually.
And in The Young Ones, you did swear, but then you did also... Well, there was a kind of limited number of swear words you could use.
I think we were limited to five bastards in an episode, so we kind of made up words like ploppy pants.
OK.
Farty breath.
Nice.
Which kind of worked, cos we were pathetic characters.
Yeah.
Now, I look at Lord Linney, you don't swear, do you?
Fuck off.
Melted
It seems so wrong.
I curse like a sailor.
Do you really?
Oh, I do.
I can restrain myself.
OK.
But, oh, no, I grew up in New York City.
OK.
So, you know, we're cursing each other all the time.
OK.
And it has its own art form.
Yeah.
It is.
It's an art form unto itself.
If you use it really well, if you use it with precision, then cursing can be fantastic.
When it's overused or you're using it to bludgeon someone, not fun.
But when you're really specific with it, then it's a skill.
I think swearing is a skill.
Absolutely.
And I have to say that my husband has a huge crush on you from a job you did that we can't mention.
And now we'll have lost it.
You're such a potty mouth.
Yeah.
And on the tour, that's still going on?
Yes, I'm still doing it.
We've added an extra date.
Oh, you look fit in that picture.
Thank you.
My God.
Thank you.
Yeah, we added an extra date at the Palladium next week, and we're going on till the end of November, yeah.
Are you coming to the States?
No, actually, we aren't.
We're going to Australia and New Zealand next year.
Well, come to the States!
I don't know if anybody knows me enough.
Yes, they do!
Yes, they do.
They absolutely do.
Just a reminder that Dawn's book is called The Twat Files and it's out now.
Dawn French, everyone!
Talking of books, Adrian Edmondson has written his autobiography, Berserker.
It is out now.
And there is, you know, there is so much comedy in this book, and it's very funny, and there's lots about comedy, but there's also this other side.
It's quite violent, and there's a lot of anger.
There's been a lot of violence in my life.
You know, institutional violence.
I was sent off to a school when I was 12, and they just used to hit us a lot.
Yeah.
With sticks and slippers and conkers on strings.
Yeah.
And it was a fairly violent place.
I think the 70s was a lot more violent.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm sorry you had that aid.
That's not fair.
Well, you tried your hardest not to do it.
But one of the first things that makes you kind of grind your gears is your name.
Why did your name upset you so much?
Um, Dawn and I are both forces kids.
Our dads both worked for the forces.
And we moved schools, didn't we, every year.
And every time I moved, everyone was saying, hey, Gin, hey, Gin, what's that girl's name?
You've got a girl's name.
And it would be a fight.
So, I've always hated it.
Still hate it.
I couldn't change it.
Yes, you can.
Now, eventually... If you want to.
No, well, this nearly happened.
Rick and I, who is my old comedy partner, we were doing some kind of Saturday night, Sunday morning, it was an old chat show, and it was our first TV, and we got an equity card with it, and they said, you know, this is the time to make up your name, so, yeah.
left rehearsals and we went away and we thought about names.
And Rick sort of spotted that Ed Munson was a bit like Ed Munson, Ed Munsoon, Eddie Munsoon.
It became Eddie Munsoon.
We thought, what a brilliant name!
Eddie Munsoon.
Yeah.
So, went in next day, told the production assistant, Eddie Munsoon, that's my name.
And they said, no, it isn't, it's Adrian Edmunson, we've already sent it off.
But me, for those who know Aid, call him Eddie.
I call him Eddie.
Oh, really?
Oh!
Yeah.
Eddie Monsoon was the name Jennifer took for Ab Pham.
Adina Monsoon.
So it's... Yes.
That's cute.
He's had a better career without me.
LAUGHTER But actually, a big chunk of the book, Adrian, is, you know, starting off with the comic strip and all of that.
But what's so weird about tonight is that you guys kind of did it together.
When did we meet?
1980?
79?
80?
Yes, 80.
80.
What I think was extraordinary about our little group, me, Dawn and Jennifer and Nigel Planer and Rick, who's not with us any more, and Peter Richardson, is that we met before we ever made it.
And we know who we are.
I know who she is and she knows.
In a way that you can't.
You can't really know someone once they've got any kind of notoriety, can you?
No.
I mean, I know... Look, that's almost the awful perm you once had, isn't it?
I know, I know.
That's bad.
That was bad.
One of the many awful perms.
Yeah.
Oh, my gosh, is that you?
I just realised what I'm looking at.
Yeah, that's me on the left.
There's Jennifer in the purple jacket.
Oh, my God!
That's me on the right with some hair.
Oh my gosh!
Wow.
We were young.
You guys look better now, I'm not gonna lie.
Sorry.
And obviously two double acts, Dawn French herself and Rick Mayle.
And obviously very different double acts.
In what way?
Well, in that you and Rick... That we didn't have any jokes?
Well, no, because the stuff you did, you know, like, in The Dangerous Brothers, it was funny, but it was also dangerous.
Well, we had our own kind of...
We called our stuff absolute bollocks at 100 miles an hour.
And it was about hysteria.
And the way to do hysteria, we thought, was to hit each other.
Yeah.
So we did a lot of stunty-type work.
My daughter read this book and she came up to me afterwards and she said, I never realised that you were never actually a comedian.
You were a stuntman, weren't you?
Yeah.
Well, listen, it all came to kind of a head in The Young Ones.
We've got a little kind of montage of some of the crazy things you did in The Young Ones.
Here we go.
It's insane.
Yeah.
The one at the end there, the bed, was an extraordinary thing to do, cos it was in this very studio.
Was it in here?
Yeah.
Wow.
And we did it live in front of an audience like this.
And we were sort of up there in the lights, me and Rick, lying on this kind of metal bed with a rope tied to it, and thinking, is this right?
25 feet, and if you sort of look at it, you'll see that as it lands, we're completely bloody winded.
Yeah, you will be.
But we carry on, cos it got a laugh.
I know you're a fan of things like Monty Python and stuff.
Yes.
Were you aware of things like The Young Ones?
A little bit.
I would love to say completely, but a little bit.
So I have some good viewing ahead of me.
No, because the thing is, in this country, it's sort of easy to look back on it, but at the time, we had seen nothing like it.
And it's kind of great that it was on the BBC.
Yeah, it's strange, isn't it?
Because I always think we're in a long line of kind of things from Laurel and... Me and Rick as a double act, from Laurel and Hardy through sort of Morecambe and Wise, Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, I see it as that.
But then when I see it, I think, we're insane.
In our heads, we're being Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner.
But we look like insane people.
Yeah, wasn't it?
And they were the comedy version of punk.
That's what was going on.
And also, it kind of broke them all.
I think we didn't have enough funny material, so we just kind of... We just tried... Eat to death.
Yeah.
Pain is funny.
It just hits you.
London, you wanted to be in showbiz from a very young age.
Oh, gosh, yes.
Like, how old were you when you decided, right, London News needs an agent?
Um, nine.
Yeah, nine, ten.
So, I was obsessed with TV.
My mum said when I was about five, she found me trying to get on TV by climbing round the back of it.
So, like, I tried to get inside.
And for me, it was just all about the TV, the people on there.
I was like, how do you be that person?
And I found out at a young age, from watching television, that people on TV have agents.
And I didn't know how to get an agent, and I'm very clever,
So I used my brain and decided that when you're looking for a job in the 90s, early 2000s, where do you look?
The yellow pages.
So I went through the yellow pages and I found estate agents.
And I didn't know that that had nothing to do with money.
I called up all the estate agents in South London, pretty much.
And I was like, and I knew that you could say something like, I'm looking for representation, right?
So I would call up, and I called up Bairstow, Eves, Fox, like all of them.
And I got my number blocked from all of the estate agents in our area.
And my mum's phone bill was like 2,000 pounds.
And literally, I mean, I'm dedicated to my dream.
Because look at me, I'm here on Graham Norton with you lot.
So I made it eventually.
Woo!
Yeah.
And the whole story is in your new memoir, Living My Best Life, Hun, and it's out now.
And I have to say, I love the kind of the chutzpah and the honesty.
Tell us who you dedicated the book to.
I dedicated it to 14-year-old me.
Yeah.
I said, to 14-year-old me, she knew this would happen.
And it did.
It did.
And it is an extraordinary story.
And you were kind of trying this, trying that, just trying to get into the business.
Yes.
But for you, going to America wasn't just kind of part of the dream.
You felt to move to the next level, you had to go to America.
Yeah.
Honestly, it was... I've been doing stand-up, I have now been doing stand-up for 14 years, but when I moved, I'd been doing it for 10.
And I just... You know, we just watch all your white male friends in comedy... LAUGHTER
Get their own TV show, get ahead, and BBC and Channel 4 love them, and it's like, I'm funny, why don't they love me?
No, I literally had to just make a decision that I felt like there was a glass ceiling in this country at the time for women, women of colour, in comedy, and I just saw all my friends thriving in America.
I'm friends with people like Daniel Kaluuya, and I saw Idris Elba do everything over there, and I was... My friend Natalie Emmanuel went from Hollyoaks to Game of Thrones to Fast and Furious by going to America.
So I just watched that and was like, I will never reach my full potential unless I just try.
And I tried, and I killed it.
Yeah.
You really did.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Bye.
I think you need just a little more confidence.
I don't have a British, like, that whole, like, I'm not a national treasure thing.
I'm a national treasure!
I don't have this British energy.
I'm very American in my confidence, which is why I do well over there, I guess.
Do you think it's still the same now?
Yeah, I do.
I feel like... I know, you paved the way.
For me, you guys are legends, and I loved and appreciated you, but then I was like, who's the next Dawn French?
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
And it just felt like it wasn't going to happen unless I went out there and tried to make it happen.
Well, the thing that's so interesting is that you guys created your own work.
Yeah.
Then there was a whole period of time where original work did not come from the stars of the shows, and now your generation is creating their own work again.
Yeah.
And that's where stuff is getting more interesting.
It is different.
Because there's TikTok and all of that, so, like, people are just, you know... Too many producers.
..going out there and making their own dreams happen and stuff.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
And back to where it all started, to catch a dick, the show.
Yes.
So, famously, you struggle to catch a dick here.
Yes.
How is... How is the dick-hunting going stateside?
Honestly, it's even worse dating in LA is terrible and I'm gorgeous and it's I have so many boyfriends in Britain.
I took for granted cuz la like la guys.
They don't I
They don't understand truth.
They like to lie a lot.
They don't know the word aspirational.
So, like, I'll meet guys and they'll be like, oh, you know, I'm an actor.
And I'm like, but you're not.
You're not an actor.
You're really not.
Your arm was in cheaper by the dozen too, OK?
You're not an actor.
I am the most important thing you've been inside.
Anyway... APPLAUSE
You're not an actor, darling.
I went on a date with a guy who told me he was a director and I believed him, and we went on a date for two weeks until I found out he was a director of a funeral home.
That is, to sum up, LA dating.
So, yeah.
Because Laura, obviously, you're happily married now, it's all lovely.
It all worked out.
But when you've been single, your friends have tried to set you up.
Yeah, they did.
And who did they see you with?
Well, that's the thing that's the most confounding.
The people who they have in your mind, like, in will come, you know, some person, the farthest thing you could possibly imagine.
I went out on one date with one guy.
We were at the dinner table and all of a sudden he went...
How do you I just let him keep going, okay, let's see where this goes Roar
Are we leading into another animal sound?
I mean, I was just... And to watch the face with the noise, like the message underneath the meow, I mean, it was... You know, it is burned in my brain.
And he was a friend of a friend.
Yeah!
What did the friends say?
You know, I haven't spoken to them in a while.
LAUGHTER
And Ada, in the book, you don't talk about Jennifer, your wife, too much, cos you don't talk about each other in public, but you do say two nice things about her.
Yes.
I do.
I say that she is the best snogger in the world.
Oh, wow.
There was a time when we were courting and she was living with her friend in Chelsea.
I'm sorry, I love that you said courting.
This is a real man.
Courting.
Well, she was hunting for dick.
And I was that dick.
But we used to kiss first.
Oh, did you?
Really?
I used to turn up and she'd open the door and we'd kiss for about ten minutes.
OK.
The other thing Jennifer did for me was, we were at a charity dinner once and there was a kind of lull in proceedings and they asked me to go up and tell some jokes to fill in the gap.
And I told a series of rude jokes and as I was coming off stage, someone who had taken offence,
and he came up and hit me like that.
Oh, God.
And just as he'd hit me, Jennifer was at my side and decked him.
Yeah.
It's a real woman.
It's a real woman, girl.
A proper woman.
It's a queer girl.
I can verify that.
Wow.
I can verify that about that amazing woman.
She's a queen.
You do not argue with her.
We were offered the BAFTA fellowship at one point.
And I'm not very good at those kind of things.
I said, oh, let's skip that.
Let's not do that.
And she went, mm, mm.
And we went out for dinner.
You were there.
Actually, Len was there.
And I went off to the loo.
And I was coming out of the loo, and she just got hold of me like that and put me against the wall like that and said, we are taking this fellowship.
And I said, right, OK, right.
She said, the last people who had it were Morecambe and Wise.
I don't normally do this, but we are taking it, do you understand?
I'm like, yep, yep, we're definitely doing that.
And then she explained to me, she said, if we become fellows of BAFTA, we will have membership to BAFTA, which is in the middle of Piccadilly, and they have toilets, and we're getting older.
LAUGHTER
Very good.
Listen, two great books about making showbiz and comedy.
London's book is Living My Best Life On, and eight is Berserker.
London News and Adrian Edmonton, everybody!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE I know, you should be!
And right, it is time for music.
This Brit award-winning pop trio have topped the charts with a string of number one hits.
Here, with their latest single, When The Rain Comes, it's a warm welcome to Sugar Babes!
Celebration yeah, we all have some fun.
Who's gonna be here when the party's done?
Yeah, you can talk all that bitter.
Tell me can you back it up?
Really all I wanna feel is grown up.
I want to know Will you be there In the thunder Through the storm Will you run or will you be there When the rain comes When it's pouring
So good on the surface easy to come for the ride, but I need you here in the dark and the light
I need it to be
I'll be there when the rain comes.
Wow!
CHEERING CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Cheetah Bend, everybody!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Sounding so, so good!
Thank you to the band.
Come on over!
Please do.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Keisha, Brutus, Siobhan, hello.
Welcome back to the show.
Thank you so much for that performance.
Thank you.
It sounded so good.
Those harmonies.
So that's the new single, When The Rain Comes, and that is out now, right?
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But there'll be more new music down the line.
Of course.
Yeah, please.
Still working.
OK.
I'm freaking out.
My 14-year-old self is freaking me out.
I'm so happy.
I know.
It's so great to see you.
I was at the show you did in the O2.
What an amazing night that was.
Did you enjoy yourself?
Oh, such a good time.
It's the O2 and it's full and it's all these people who just love you.
Did you know that the fans were out there and they carried the torch and they wanted to see you again?
Mutia.
Oh, my God.
Basically, every show we do, I literally am like, -"Is anyone outside?"
-"Honestly, we're so grateful."
We're sold out.
Even at Glastonbury, she was like, -"Oh, my God, is it gonna be a nice crowd?"
-"Is anyone there?"
We're honestly so surprised every time we get that response.
But it was amazing, cos the O2, sometimes I think it can be just so big that it doesn't feel intimate.
And I feel like we did have those moments that were really special.
And for people who don't know, at the O2 you showed some footage of how young you were.
How old were you when you actually formed Sugar Babes?
12 and 13.
Yeah.
I mean... It makes me a bit teary, cos that night, there were these 12-year-old girls who'd started the band, and now you're at the O2, after... And, you know, what's great is the journey... There you all are!
Now, they're supposed to be like this.
You guys scare us with these pictures, like, obviously.
Oh, my God.
We look cute.
We look nice.
Sorry.
And... You were saying to Dawn, when you were singing, I was saying,
You've still got the enthusiasm of the 12-year-olds in you.
It's lovely to see.
Thank you.
We love what we do.
Yeah.
And it's been better this time around, I think I can say.
It's been more fun.
You can take those special moments in and just really appreciate them in the moment.
But also the people who you grow up with and then you get to make art with.
Exactly.
And then you perform with.
I mean, the comfort level is so intense.
It really is.
And we grew up together, you know, and I just think it's just so nice.
It just feels like...
We get to spend all our special moments together, so it's kind of like... Yeah.
Oh, well, welcome back, Sugar Babes.
Thank you.
We're grateful.
So great to see you.
Sugar Babes, everybody!
Oh, feel the love, feel the love.
And it's not nearly yet before we go.
Just time for a very quick visit to the big red chair.
Who've we got tonight?
Hello.
Hi.
Oh, don't be nervous.
I'm fine.
Oh, you're fine, you're fine.
What's your name?
Zoe.
And where are you from, Zoe?
I'm from Scotland, Dumfries and Galloway, but I lived in Ireland for about 20 years.
It's a lovely accent.
Very nice.
Thank you.
Whereabouts in Ireland did you live?
Firmoye County, Cork.
Horrible town.
Oh.
It's got a giant pencil in it, hasn't it?
It's got a bridge if people want to jump off it.
We're looking forward to this story.
I think the cannon is loose.
Off you go.
I'd moved to Ireland and started a new job on a big stud farm, and I'd also started a relationship with my boss.
She called it, didn't she?
Sorry, I've got to stop you for a second.
Did you say slug farm or stud farm?
Stud farm.
Stud.
Studfarm.
Horses.
OK, we've got it.
So, I was at the stage in the relationship where you don't show your true colours, where you... You kind of want to look like you're nice and kind and do the small things.
There was this one morning I had to get up early to go and work in the north And I thought it's not nice when the big light goes on so I'll be kind and I'll cover his face But he woke up when I was putting the pillow over his face You can walk, you can walk
OK, well done, and that is all we've got time for.
If you'd like to have a go at the red chair yourself and tell your story, contact us via our website at this very address.
That was a good one.
Please, a huge thank you to all of our guests tonight.
Sugar Bae!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE London News!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Adrian Edmonton!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Dawn French!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE And Laura Linney!
Join me next week with singer Zac Abel, chef Nadia Hussain, actors Bella Ramsey and Ralph Fiennes, plus two screen legends Dame Joan Collins and Sir Patrick Stewart.
I'll see you then.
Good night, everybody.
It's getting late.
Visit the haunted mansion that is Button House.
Don't expect to be scared, though.
They're all lovely.
The final series of Ghosts is now on iPlayer.
Just press the red button.