[relaxing acoustic music]
♪
[airplane engine roaring]
[pill bottle rattling]
-[knocking on door] -Mmm.
Jakey. Look at you.
[Jake sighs]
Hey, uh, open the door.
Yeah, one second.
No, you-- you just-- You locked it.
-No, you-- you-- -[Pete] Open the door.
-You have to press unlock. -Take-- take your hand off.
Come on. Let's go.
There.
[Pete] Thank you.
What was that about?
Nice call with the Kia.
It's all the airport had left.
Well, Koreans know their cars, man.
Bro.
♪
[upbeat acoustic music]
[Pete] You can just stay straight on Silver.
[Jake] All right, man.
Where are your shoes?
Oh, it's protocol, bro. No laces, no belts.
I do love these hospital socks, though.
With the little, uh, grippy things.
So, are-- are they gonna come, then, or?
[Jake] Mom and Dad?
They seemed okay on the phone.
They, uh-- they knew I was coming, so...
No, no, yeah, yeah, sure.
It's an expensive flight,
especially last-minute.
Yeah, pardon the mess. I-- I wasn't expecting guests.
I wasn't really expecting anything, actually.
[door closes]
So, how long are you in Albuquerque until?
Uh, Thursday.
[Pete] Uh, you can't stay longer?
This isn't a leisure trip, Pete.
Really? I had no idea.
Hey, uh, how's Abs, by the way?
Uh, you guys good?
Uh, we're, uh...
We're-- we're-- we're good.
That's good.
[Jake] Hey, um...
what are you doing in there?
I'm, uh, just taking a leak.
[toilet flushing]
-Hey. -Hey.
♪ See you rocking it, can you rock out? ♪
[loud rock music playing]
-[Pete grunting] -Fuck.
Why am I only competitive with you?
It's like I'm eight years old again.
Because I'm the only person you can't beat at anything.
[Pete laughing]
So, uh, when did Burning Man move on?
Burning Man? Oh, uh, Mondo.
Uh, like six months ago
with his-- his girlfriend. Or, sorry, fiancée.
You, uh-- you haven't thought about getting new roommates?
I thought about it.
And have you...
thought about maybe-- maybe moving?
Are-- are you serious?
[Jake] I mean, yeah.
Uh, I can't.
You know, people don't really realize this,
but being a painter doesn't really pay shit.
No, I'm pretty sure that everybody knows that.
Besides, when's the last time that you painted?
Don't change the fucking subject.
Wasn't painting the subject?
That's Meemaw's house.
I'm not leaving.
It's been, like, a year and a half now.
It's, uh, two years this month, actually.
♪
[Pete sighing]
You got these?
[Jake] Listen-- listen to me, Pete.
Oh, my God.
[Pete laughing]
[Pete] Yes!
-[bottles clanging] -There he goes.
[Pete laughing]
I told you not to drink.
Ugh, it's just beers, man.
It's probably, like, my meds or something.
-[phone buzzing] -[Jake sighing]
It's the cops.
It's Dad.
Same thing.
Hello.
[Warren] You were supposed to call an hour ago.
Yeah, yeah, sorry. We, uh, we went to get food.
[Warren] I told you to keep him home.
Yeah, yeah, no, we-- we-- we got takeout.
You're Dad's bitch.
[Warren] Oh, okay.
Hey, baby.
[Jake] Hey, Mom.
So, how is he?
He's-- he's-- he's-- he's good.
[Warren] Let me speak with him.
Uh, speak with him?
-Yes. Put him on the phone. -No!
I'm-- I'm...
-[Warren] Jake? -Uh...
Oh, he's, uh, he's in the shower.
Well, at least he's bathing again.
So, have you told him yet?
Uh, yeah.
Yeah.
[Warren] Okay, and? What-- what did he say?
Um, he-- he said--
I'm-- I'm-- I'm good.
[Warren] "I'm good"?
Uh, no, no. Uh, okay. He-- he said, "Okay."
Just okay?
Yeah, what-- what does that mean?
Uh, yeah.
I think it means okay.
[Warren] He's lucky we're giving him the option at all.
-Should have cut him off after-- -[Gail] Honey.
After your-- your grandmother passed.
I was just...
I was worried he'd try again.
-Honey. -I'm fine, I'm fine.
Did he...
say what it was this time?
Dad.
[Warren] Yeah, I know, I know.
Just call us when you're on the road, okay?
Don't forget.
Yeah, I won't.
Okay, baby, see you soon. I love you.
-[Jake] Love you. -Bye, son.
[Pete] So, how's the pope?
[Pete sighing]
You're right, it's not funny.
And insulting to Francis.
What's up?
No, I'm-- I'm not flying back Thursday.
[Pete] You wanna stay longer?
No, I'm-- I'm not flying back at all.
I don't understand.
Mom and Dad, that's, uh, that's why they're not here.
They, uh...
sent me to come get you.
Hey, Pete, Pete, Pete, Pete.
Yeah, don't fucking touch me.
Why-- why aren't you flying?
They want us to drive your car back to Washington
-so that we can be together... -That's fucking bullshit.
...as a family to evaluate things.
To evaluate things?
Evaluate me?
And after my evaluation, what then, doctor?
-Come on, man. -No!
What then?
If we or you think that it's for the best, then...
maybe you move back to Seattle.
-Jesus Christ, man. -Just for a while.
You can see your old friends, old doctors.
There's nothing there for me, man.
Yeah, unlike here, right?
Pete, Pete, Pete.
Dad's thinking of selling this place.
[retching]
[panting]
[groaning]
[distant construction din]
[Jake sighing]
Hey, Pete?
Pete?
Pete.
Shit.
[phone ringing]
[Pete] It's Pete. Nobody uses voicemail. Fuck--
Damn it.
No fucking shit.
Tell me next time you're gonna leave the house, man.
I'm in the backyard, you ghost.
You just call me a ghost?
Yeah, because you're fucking haunting me.
I'm sorry.
Can I sit?
Yeah, if you don't fall through the chair, you fucking ghost.
So, um...
have-- have you thought about the trip then?
We should get going.
Hey, man, you ever just, like, fucking chill out?
Look.
This is Meemaw's car.
Pretty sure a coyote gave birth in the trunk.
I like to, like, sit out here
and, like, work through shit with her.
Hey, you remember, uh-- uh, Christmas in Tombstone?
I mean, I've seen the pictures.
Yeah.
Mom and Meemaw wanted to go to, like, Colorado, have, like,
this, like, white Christmas.
But, of course, Dad won out, and we end up in Arizona
because I shit you not, he had just seen the movie Wyatt Earp.
Anyway, we get there and it's a total fucking tourist trap.
We watch, like, one really shitty reenactment,
and then we just, like, go home early.
I fucking-- I still hate Arizona because of that.
Best part of that trip, though, was, uh...
car ride there.
Me and you, we just, like, took turns playing
this Game Boy that Meemaw got me.
You know, she, like, let me open my present early
so long as I just, like, shared it with you.
Man, that was just what I wanted.
So, this trip...
I mean, what's-- what's your big plan?
[groovy rock music playing]
[Jake] You're getting ready in there, right?
Yep.
Hey, uh, you-- you got any Q-tips?
[Pete] Uh, cabinet.
♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah ♪
You find it?
Uh, yeah, yeah.
♪
[trunk door clanging]
[Pete] Are you pulling?
[Jake] Yes, I am pulling.
There she goes.
So, what are you looking for?
I-- I thought you were looking for something.
Oh, I-- I don't know shit about cars.
And I do.
I don't-- You're-- you're the engineer.
I'm a software engineer.
How many times do I have to tell you?
That's computers, not vehicles.
A car is a computer.
No, no-- no, not really.
In a way.
How-- how in a way?
Like, in-- in principle.
No, no, okay, no, no.
What does-- what does principle have to do with anything?
Three, two, one.
We have liftoff.
Hey, don't look too excited.
I am.
Excited.
[Pete laughing]
You sound like an android trying to be human.
"I-- I have excitement."
Oh, is that a smile, Andrew?
Hey, please, please, no Bicentennial Man.
[Bicentennial Man impression] I want to live
and die with dignity.
[both laughing]
[relaxing acoustic music]
♪
["My Life is Staring Over" by Daniel Johnston playing]
♪ My life is starting over again ♪
♪ Over again ♪
♪ My friends say I'm back again ♪
♪ My life is starting over again ♪
Oh, my God.
They just, like, never give you enough crackers.
Nobody eats this shit open-faced, man.
Or else you have to, like, touch the--
[Pete snoring]
[Pete humming]
[Jake] You still own CDs?
[Pete] Yeah, dude.
The compact disc is, like, our generation's vinyl.
You're from Seattle. You should know this.
Here, check it.
You made a mixtape?
[Pete] I thought it would be fun.
You know, Pete and Jakey's road trip.
Okay.
Sorry, I just...
No, no, yeah. I got it.
Never mind.
Maybe later then.
This one's pretty good.
Hey, man, I-- I got a headache.
[Pete] Oh, this is perfect.
This is, like, perfect headache medicine.
[loud percussive music playing]
All right, okay.
It's good, right?
West African.
[music stops]
Whoa.
I said I have a headache.
Well, I-- I read that drumming is therapeutic.
You sure it didn't mean playing the drums?
I don't know. Let's test it out.
[loud percussive music resumes]
-[music stops] -Dude, let's just get one track.
-Hey, what the fuck, man? -Okay, enough.
-You-- you just fucking hit me. -I slapped your hand.
That's fucking hitting.
No music, okay?
Why do you decide?
Are you a child?
Okay, the-- the driver gets to choose.
-I'm the driver. -So let me drive.
You're, like, super stoned.
I'm-- I'm high-functioning.
I don't think that high-functioning
is how I'd describe you.
[Pete] [mumbling] I shouldn't have...
[Jake] What?
I shouldn't have come.
There it is.
You knew I didn't fucking wanna do this.
[Jake] Yeah, well, it's not just about you, is it?
Me and Mom and Dad. You-- you ever think about us?
What is that supposed to mean?
Look at where we're at, Pete. What-- what did you just do?
I don't know, man. What did I just do?
You tried to fucking kill yourself.
[somber acoustic music]
♪
Why are we sitting here? It's empty.
This sign says wait.
[bell ringing]
[waitress] Hey, boys. Sorry about that.
Could have just sat down.
So, uh, booth or table?
-Table. -Booth.
Okay.
Wow, big menu.
You guys have, uh, cheeseburgers?
We have bison burgers.
Great, we'll take two of those.
I-- I don't want bison.
Oh, it's just hamburger meat.
Oh, okay.
They come with our world-famous onion rings.
-Is that okay? -Could I actually get fries?
They're world-famous, Jake.
Yeah, I feel like fries.
We can do fries.
Thanks.
[waitress] Anything else I can get you guys?
No, I think we're good.
-Thanks. -Okay.
-So. -Just-- let me just eat, please.
About what I said earlier, man--
Yeah, it's fine. I'm-- I'm totally over it.
[loud smacking]
[clattering]
Okay, look, all right?
What I said about you never...
caring, never thinking about us, all right?
We don't need to do, like, a whole fucking,
like, recap right now, okay?
-Okay, fine. -Okay.
But, you know... what you did...
Was it really thinking of us?
Man, you are un-fucking-believable.
What? It's a legitimate question.
Can you just shut the fuck up right now
and just, like, listen to me for, like, one second?
I tho-- I thought about you, okay?
Is that surprising to you? Really?
You have no idea the countless arguments
that I've had in my head about-- about you and all this.
And I understand how painful this shit is for everyone.
[Jake] Then why?
If that's true, if you know, then why?
[sighs]
Because at a certain point,
I can't keep hurting just to keep everyone else from hurting.
But you could have fought. You could have gotten more help.
[sighs] Phew.
I tried.
[deep exhale]
What about your meds?
Did you go through my shit?
No, it wasn't intentional.
Yeah, okay.
Are we allowed to eat now?
[sighs]
Yeah, those onion rings do look good.
[groans]
Thanks.
♪
[Jake] Wow.
I thought Utah was just Mormons. [laughs]
And what about your therapist?
You still liking them?
I mean better than the last one you guys found me,
that fucking old white dinosaur.
You know, I get depressed too sometimes.
What? I... I do.
Sometimes I...
Bad days.
Yeah, these aren't days, man.
These are years.
Besides, you have, like, Abby, you know?
One day, you guys will have kids and a big house
with, like, a sprinkler system.
And I know I could probably have that shit too.
It's just, like...
Is that what all this life is leading to?
Just, like, a fucking...
well-kept lawn?
What?
No, he never wanted to get married.
We thought it was old-fashioned.
It's been eight years now.
It's... It's something.
Hell, even try seeing other people.
Wait, hold the fucking phone. What?
-You? -Yeah, that was the thing.
I couldn't really do it.
Like, you couldn't see other people or, like...
adequately perform?
Performer, I take it?
I think she's letting me down easy.
Well, what do you want?
I want to be alone.
Man, not wanting to be alone
isn't enough reason to force someone to stick around.
Why didn't you ever tell me this shit before?
Come on, I mean, come on, man.
My problems were, like, so...
tame compared to yours.
Yeah, but it would have been really nice to hear, though.
I mean, ever since we were young...
It's like, I know I'm, like, older than you and shit,
but, like, I've always felt, like, dumber
or, like, less capable. It's like...
It's like I'm the little brother.
[melodic guitar music]
♪
[Jake] Well, no, I'm sorry, man.
Yeah, no. I already said I would.
Okay.
Bye.
[sighs]
Who was that?
You just left?
-Shit. -Yeah, that was Dad.
Hospital called him.
Said you were supposed to be there another 3 days.
You just left without being released.
There's a police report on you, man, a missing persons report.
-Are you serious? -Don't laugh.
Don't fucking laugh.
All right, man, just calm down.
Pete...
The hospital, they can involuntarily detain you
if they deem you a danger to yourself.
Yeah, yeah, I know that. They told me that.
Then why did you leave?
'Cause I wanted to.
Then why didn't you tell me or dad?
'Cause it's not your fucking business?
[Jake] Really?
Now because you walked out,
insurance company's refusing to cover your claim.
Yeah. You want to know what tab?
Six grand.
Are you fucking...
-It was one night. -Yeah, in the ICU.
And the ambulance ride, and the treatment costs.
Well, that's fucking bullshit.
No, that's life.
That's what it costs when you don't think of the consequences.
Don't fucking lecture me right now.
Why is it that any time someone disagrees with you,
it's a lecture?
-Fuck you. -No, fuck you.
-I'll fucking pay for it. -Yeah, with what money?
Yeah.
Dad'll foot the bill again, like he always has.
-Well, that's not true. -Really?
Think back, Pete.
When you first tried, he did.
Yeah, well, what's next, junior year, Sacred Heart?
Oh, well, he did then, too.
Then it was after you dropped out of U-dub,
which, by the way, he was paying for, too.
All the therapy, all the medication,
the stupid fucking trips to...
find yourself.
It's always been him.
You can't just do whatever you want
and chalk it up to your mental health.
You have to take some responsibility.
It's as if always excusing yourself in...
All right, just stop, okay?
Please stop.
I got it.
♪
[rain pattering]
♪
[car brakes whine]
-So someone lives here? -Shh.
[Jake whispers] Yeah. That's all I could find.
-I'm sorry about this-- -No, no, no. I know.
I gotta piss.
Mm.
[sighs]
That bathroom smells like lavender.
Did you wash your hands?
Yeah.
-I call this room. -No. No. I'm already here.
Oh, come on, man. I'm, like, so tired.
You slept all... Mm-hmm.
Okay, okay. You know what? Fine.
-Take it. -Yes.
-[loud thud] -What are you doing?
Fuck. Sorry. Sorry.
Hey, uh, Jake.
What?
You think anybody, like, screwed in this bed before?
-I'm going out. -Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Look, I know you're trying to understand me
and everything that I'm going through.
And I really appreciate that.
But you-you don't... You don't know everything, okay?
Some of this you might never understand.
Goodnight, man.
[door creaks]
[door clicks shut]
[sighs]
Dad, it's late.
I know. Just checking in.
-Are you at the B&B? -[Jake] Yeah.
Did they make it to Idaho?
Oh, thank God.
-Good. -Where are you going?
I'll be right back.
[door clicks shut]
Listen, I need you guys here before 2:00 on Friday.
Okay.
Um, why?
I got an appointment for Peter with a psychiatrist.
With Richard.
Wait, wait, what?
[door clicks shut]
Church Richard? Like, Devin's dad?
Richard Foster, yes.
Okay, Dad, Dad...
We-- we agreed to talk to Pete about stuff like this.
It's just an appointment.
I mean, he's a family friend.
Which is why I trust him.
Look, I have to do something.
Yeah, yeah.
Look, if he doesn't like him,
then we can discuss other options, okay?
But, you know what? Let's just keep this
between you and me for now, okay?
[sighs]
Okay.
Okay, all right, good.
We'll see you Friday.
[horse breys]
[groans]
[sighs]
[door creaks]
-Help yourself. -Oh, sorry, sorry.
I wasn't sure if that was extra or not.
I wasn't being sarcastic, huh?
I'll take one, too, if you're offering.
Yeah, yeah, sure.
[woman] Jake, right?
Uh, yeah, yeah, and you're...
-Marie? -Mary, actually.
Oh, sorry.
No, you're fine.
It's just, my mother's name was Marie.
But you're Mary.
Well, my birth name is Marie.
But when I was a teenager, I changed it to Mary.
I started telling people, and nobody ever questioned it.
We are who we pretend to be, I guess.
My parents, they used to call me Jacob.
But...
I always thought it sounded childish.
I like Jacob. It's dignified.
Jake's harsh, strident.
That's me.
No, I don't think so.
So, you want to help me with something, Jacob?
We used to have chickens, but not anymore.
[groans] I hate chickens.
[Jake] I thought all farmers liked chickens.
[Mary] Maybe, but I'm not a farmer.
My father was.
The chickens were my husband's idea.
[rustling thud]
A gift from me after our daughter moved out.
[sighs] How about a dog, you know?
Or some Canadian whiskey.
[sighs] Anything but fucking chickens.
[loud sigh]
And where's your husband now?
Does he work in town?
Well, he died, actually, last spring.
Um... I'm sorry about that.
Death isn't something to be sorry about, hon.
[sighs] It means you lived.
Restful, huh?
It's the openness.
No surprises.
It must have been nice growing up here.
Yeah, until you were grown.
At 17, all this changes.
So, I fled to California.
That's where I met Frank.
During a student protest in San Francisco.
Ah, so you're not a farmer.
-You're a hippie. -Hardly.
I was studying English.
Him, history.
We wanted to be teachers, not revolutionaries.
Of course, poor Pop couldn't tell the difference.
We loved the city.
Why did you come back?
I, uh...
I had to.
Let me guess, your dad?
No, no. My, um...
My sister.
She'd gotten sick.
Cervical, you know?
Oh.
Yeah.
What was her name?
Ann.
Not long after she died,
we found out that I was pregnant.
My sister and I were night and day.
She was ladylike and poised.
I was...
rebellious, impulsive.
I couldn't wait to leave Idaho.
She loved it here.
Especially this house,
which was supposed to be hers next.
She wanted to start a family here.
So...
after she died, I decided to stay,
at least until my daughter was born.
It was Frank's idea to name her Marianne.
And then, of course,
one year turns to two, and two becomes 20.
[sighs]
But...
I have no complaints.
I was the lucky one.
[door clicks]
♪
[groans]
I had some weird-ass dreams last night.
You were in one of them, actually.
Yeah, where were we on a road trip in a shitty van?
I said dream, not nightmare.
Hey, Mary, what a cool lady.
She was just, like, telling me about this, like,
crazy waterfall right in Twin Falls.
I don't know if we're gonna have time to stop today, man.
Yeah, no, I was just-- I was just saying.
Like, why? Like, what's the rush?
Just, you know, Dad, he's-- he's excited to see you.
Hmm.
Hey, speaking of the Pope, uh, can we, like, stop in Oregon
and get some more grass before we have to see him?
As long as you don't call him that when we do.
Pretty accurate, though.
Bald, old, Catholic, claims to know God's thoughts.
Won't give in till he dies.
[chuckling] I'm sorry, did you just knock Dad?
[chuckles]
I guess I did.
I think I like you today, man.
[Jake] Hey, hang on, just today?
[Pete] Take the compliment, bro.
[melodic, folksy instrumental]
[Jake] Black and sweet.
Like my heart?
Hey, could I, uh, actually get one of those?
Fuck.
-What? -What's wrong?
Nothing.
I know you, man, anytime you want a cigarette,
it's when you're all fucking in your head and anxious and shit.
That's not true.
The last time you asked me for a cigarette
was when you were, like, about to go and talk to Dad
about moving in with Abby.
How do you remember that?
I told you, man, I'm high-functioning.
Can we sit?
You could sit. I kind of want to stretch my legs.
Hey, and I'm-- I'm sorry about the cigarette.
Just one of us is going to have to live a long life.
I'm joking, man.
How come everyone but, like, suicidal people
can, like, tell suicide jokes?
It's fucked up.
What's up?
When I was in your bathroom, uh...
I found the empty bottle.
Oh.
You know, movies make it seem like it's all, like, tearful
and, like, cinematic and shit, but...
it's actually pretty fucking dull.
I tried calling you.
-No. -Yeah.
Here, give me your phone.
Yeah, right here. 2:37 a.m.
What, did you have any second thoughts?
No.
You know, I don't remember a lot from that night, but I...
I remember that I was... [exhaling deeply]
I was ready.
[water rushing distantly]
You ready?
Hey, hey, hold up.
What's up?
I was listening to, uh, to Pink Floyd that night.
Oh.
It was making me think of-- You remember when, like, uh...
Dad used to, like, play music really loud late at night?
And he was a lot more chill?
Dude, he was an alcoholic back then, man.
Also way more chill.
Anyways, there was this one Floyd track.
Every time he would put it on,
you'd get, like, pretty scared
and you couldn't, like, fall asleep,
so I'd have to, like, do shit to, like, make you laugh.
You remember that?
Mr. Peanut.
Hey, kiss your sister, Mr. Peanut.
[both chuckling]
Anyways, yeah, I-- I-- I couldn't remember...
I couldn't remember the name of that song.
So, that's why you called, then?
Just to ask me that?
I mean, I'd just taken, like, 40 sleeping pills.
I wasn't exactly thinking straight.
It's a strange sensation, man,
like drifting off thinking you'll never wake up again,
and then you wake up.
Wait.
Who called 911, then?
I did.
But at the hospital...
you admitted yourself.
Why did you leave?
By then, I was feeling better.
Well, what about now?
You still feel better?
I was really all in, you know?
Now, I have this, like...
second chance on life I'm not even sure that I wanted.
I kind of feel like a tourist in my own body.
Shall we?
Hey.
[waterfall rushing]
[profound instrumental]
♪
[water rushing]
Yeah, I-- I just realized something.
I've taken a shit in, like,
every state we've been in on this trip.
Hope I gotta go in Oregon.
Sorry, I know you don't like me talking about fecal matter.
-No, no, no, you're fine. -Fecal matters?
Fecal matter.
You went, then? All good?
-Yes, sir, all cleaned out. -Oh, okay.
There's no TP, though, so I just had to do, like, a quick...
All right, dude, stop.
Sorry.
♪ Seven years ago, I was changed ♪
Naturally dressed in, like, a full-fledged uniform.
♪ Seven years ago, but my thoughts remained ♪
♪ I moved out to the country and I changed my name ♪
♪ I tried to run away ♪
-♪ So, I tried to walk on ♪ -Woo!
♪ I tried to move along ♪
♪ I tried to sing my song ♪
♪ With no one at my side ♪
♪
[Pete] So, this guy's name is Ravi?
[Jake] Mm-hmm.
Like Ravi fucking Shankar?
Nah, I don't know who that is, man.
Hey, hey, no, no-- Put those-- put those back, man.
Dana, bro.
Donna what?
Ravi's Hindu, man.
Dana's, like, the practice of-- of giving.
You're bullshitting me.
[Pete] No.
Religious studies was, like, my favorite class in college.
Yeah, before you dropped out, you mean.
Mm, ha, ha, ha.
All right.
Who's she?
Uh, actually, he and his name is Shiva the Destroyer.
Fuck.
-Drink up. -Fine.
Thank you.
Hinduism's pretty interesting, actually.
Okay, yeah, okay, here we go.
No, no, no, seriously, seriously, right?
There are these three gods, Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva.
Birth, life, and death,
but, like, not necessarily in that order.
So, in a way, destruction is an act of creation.
That just doesn't make sense to me.
And besides, you do know, you're, like,
the whitest guy ever, right?
So?
I appreciate other people's beliefs.
You and Dad should try it sometime.
Wow, okay.
What do you believe in, then?
I believe that you shouldn't
make someone believe something that they don't want to believe.
What?
No, no, I, uh...
I actually believe that, too.
[Jake] All babies cry.
[both laughing]
Yeah, dude, so my, like, dum-dum five-year-old brain,
like, thought you were, like, hungry, man.
He's like, I thought, like, crying was, like, hungry.
So, I'm, like, searching around the room,
and the only thing I see is, like, this nickel.
-[laughing] -Wow, great idea.
Fuck you, dude. I was five years old.
I thought you'd, like, suck on it or some shit,
but you just snatch it from me, and you're like...
[laughing]
Basically, you just tried to kill me.
[Pete] Yeah.
The first of many unsuccessful attempts.
[both laughing]
I'm sorry.
No, what you said, it just...
Just made me think of the first time that, uh,
that you tried it.
That was a long time ago.
I was eight.
And Mom, she, uh...
she was leaving somewhere, and, uh...
she wanted us to come.
But, uh...
you told her that you didn't want to go, so...
I told her no, too.
Just, uh, just to be with you.
You were annoyed.
You know what I mean?
I-- I was annoyed.
I mean, I remember crying, like...
like, literally, like, bawling to Mom,
so that she'd make you hang out with me.
But I don't know.
You were my big brother.
And when Mom left...
you went into your room to draw.
And, um...
I wanted to draw, too, but...
you told me to stay, so...
I-- I stayed.
But after a while...
I, um...
started to get lonely.
Yeah.
That was it.
I was bored.
I was a kid, you know?
It happens.
[exhales] Please don't leave me.
[breathing shakily]
Please don't leave me.
[Jake sobbing]
[breathing shakily]
I'm sorry about that.
No, you're good.
Hey, when I woke up that, uh, that first time...
you were the only person that I wanted to see,
but you weren't there.
Where were you?
Dad and Mom sent me to Grandma Jan's.
I guess they, uh, they didn't want me to see you like that.
That story that I told you about Pink Floyd,
I really-- I couldn't remember the song. That's not--
That's not really why I, uh, I called you.
It was like, uh...
As I was, like, you know...
I just realized, like, I--
like, I just, like, really want to hear your voice,
like, one more time.
[door shutting]
[melancholy instrumental]
[birds chirping]
[phone ringing]
[Warren] Hello, you've reached Warren Duffy.
Please leave me a detailed--
Hey, Pete.
Hey, Pete, come on.
Hey, Pete!
Pete, wake up! Come on.
Fuck!
Shit.
[phone ringing]
Come on, man. Why, man?
[operator] 911, what's your emergency?
Yeah, hi there. Um, my-- my-- my brother, he...
He took-- took sleeping pills.
[operator] Okay, sir, is he there with you
or in a different location.
No, no, no, he's here.
I'm-- I'm here with him.
[operator] All right, sir, stay calm.
-We're gonna be there very soon. -[ambulance siren wailing]
[Jake] Okay. Okay, thank you.
[heart rate monitor beeping]
[Warren] Did they say how long he'll be out?
Uh, at least all night.
Maybe more.
[Warren] Well, how did they sound?
I don't know. Good, not good.
I don't know, Dad, I-- I-- I don't know.
I'm flying out there.
What?
And I want you to come back here.
Hang on, that's-- That is-- That's not what I...
No, no, no, I-- I should be here with him.
[Warren] You have been, son.
But you have a life.
Responsibilities.
Your brother doesn't.
He doesn't... understand what that is.
He never has.
What about the van?
[Warren] You take it so we have it, and, uh,
Peter and I will rent a car or fly back.
Dad, I-- I don't know.
He's my brother.
[Warren] Yeah, I know.
But this isn't the first time.
Right?
He's hurt you doing this before, remember?
Come home, son.
Okay.
Jakey, I really don't know what to do anymore.
And I should.
I should know.
But I don't.
Get some rest, son.
Okay, Dad.
Good night.
[Jake] Night.
[sniffling]
[sobbing]
[clears throat]
[exhales, sniffles]
[children giggling]
[girl] It's my turn.
[giggling]
[mother chuckling] You guys!
[giggling]
I wanna play!
All right, all right, all right.
Settle down.
No, he's not getting that car.
-[laughing] -No way! No way.
-Hi. -Hey.
I just drained his catheter bag.
Any changes?
What time did you check last?
-Round three. -Okay. Let me look.
Yeah... no, about the same.
Uh, did you talk to the doctor?
-I did. -And?
And there's just no way to know for sure.
We've gotta wait for his body to metabolize all those pills.
Could be hours.
Could be days.
All right.
Oh, um, my dad, he'll be here this afternoon.
Yeah. We'll be ready for him.
-Thank you. -Okay.
Okay, what were we saying?
The Mustang.
Oh, the Mustang, yes. So...
[engine starts]
["True Love Will Find You In The End" by Beck playing]
♪
♪ True love will find you in the end ♪
♪ You'll find out just who was your friend ♪
♪ Don't be sad, I know you will ♪
♪ Don't give up until ♪
♪ True love will find you in the end ♪
-[song stops] -[engine shuts off]
[exhales]
[knocking]
[inaudible]
What?
Are you the little brother?
Uh, yeah?
Jacob?
That's me, yeah.
Dr. Conrad.
He's, uh-- he's waking up now?
Any minute now.
[machines beeping steadily]
Louise.
Oh.
We'll be right back.
[breathing shakily]
[slurping softly]
[gentle knocking at door]
Everybody here?
How you doing, Mr. Duffy?
I hate to get right into it,
but I'd like to discuss next steps. Is that okay with you?
Great.
So, from what your brother told me,
this was an act of self-harm.
Is that true?
Was your intent to end your life?
Can you share with me your motive
for wanting to end your life?
No, you don't want to, or no, you don't have a reason?
Are you still thinking about harming yourself?
Well, Peter, since you're confirming that
this is, in fact, self-harm,
it's regulation that we're allowed to hold you
until you're seen by a mental health provider.
In the meantime, for your safety,
you will be under surveillance with a sitter,
which is what Zak is here for.
When the provider arrives, you'll be evaluated to see if
you're a danger to yourself or others,
and if so, a judge can rule
that you seek court-mandated psychiatric treatment.
I'm sorry, can he have a break?
Of course.
I know this is a lot to take in.
I'll give you both some space to process things.
Hey.
We'll make you safe, Peter.
[door opens, closes]
[Warren over phone] I-- I don't understand. What's the problem?
I just--
There was a lot of questions, you know?
Well, yeah. When you do something like that,
that's gonna happen.
I-- I know. All right? I just--
Some of them were pretty intense.
Okay, like what?
Like why he tried to kill himself.
What's wrong with that?
Uh, I'm not sure he knows that.
Well, of course he does.
God damn it, use your head!
Why would you do that if you didn't know?
Come on, you're smarter than that.
Your brother knows what he's doing.
I think it's time we stopped tiptoeing around
his delicate little feelings.
He lost that privilege when he swallowed an entire bottle
of fucking pills for the second fucking time.
Hey, Dad, um...
I think maybe I should be with Pete right now.
What does that mean?
It means you don't need to come.
Well, I'm literally standing at the front door
ready to go to the airport right now.
Did Peter put you up to this?
No, Dad, he didn't, okay? It's me.
I'll make sure Pete's safe.
Son, I sent you down there to bring your brother home to me,
and now he's back in the hospital.
Is that your idea of keeping him safe?
Stay there.
I'm coming.
[melancholy music]
[fire alarm blaring]
Hey, what's-- what's going on? What is that?
Uh, I think it's the fire alarm.
What? Do we need to go?
Well, they haven't made an announcement yet,
-so I think we just stay here. -Please just make sure.
Just go check.
Uh... I mean, I'm supposed to be--
I'll stay here. I can watch him.
O-- Okay. I'll be right back.
Okay, please hurry.
[Pete] Why did you do that?
[laughing] Jake!
What are you doing? Are you fucking crazy?
I think so. Take your gown off.
What?
Just shut up and strip.
Uh... okay.
[fire alarm continues]
-Ow, ow, ow, ow. -Fuck!
[grunts] Okay. Okay.
-Oh, Jesus fuck. -Oh, Christ.
[fast-paced music]
Okay. Shirt, shirt, shirt, shirt, shirt. Come on!
-Dude. -Nice fucking throw!
[fire alarm continues]
♪
Let's go. Come on, come on, come on.
Almost there.
Oh, fuck.
-What? -My keys.
-You left them? -No, wait, you have them.
-What? -Check my pockets.
-That's a proper throw. -Shut up.
[engine starts]
Go, go, go, go, go.
Yeah, one-- one sec. Here we go.
[tires squealing]
-Jesus! -Shit.
-Easy. -Sorry.
[fire alarm continues]
[Pete] Wait, wait. Holy shit. Are you serious?
[Jake] Yeah, unfortunately, yeah.
So he's just gonna, like-- he's gonna get there
-and we're just gonna be gone? -Nah, I told him not to come.
All right? He's just so fucking stubborn.
Hey, I'm sorry that he said that shit to you.
Just so you know, this-- this isn't you.
I honestly-- I don't really know why.
[Jake] Well, hey.
You're okay.
It's okay.
I'm just glad that you're here.
And how are you feeling?
Do you, uh-- did you need anything?
I mean, honestly, I'm chafing.
[both laughing]
Seriously, bro, you could've brought me
a pair of undies or something.
[urine trickling]
[Pete grunts]
Wow. You, uh-- you really weren't kidding--
[Pete] Don't talk.
[trickling continues]
-[Pete grunts] -[trickling stops]
[Pete exhales]
[birds chirping]
I-- I don't wanna ruin this moment, but...
but me doing this, you know...
you-- you still-- still gotta...
[sighs]
...you know, you're gonna need help.
Yeah.
[Jake shivers]
Here.
[Jake] No, no, man--
Hey, take the fucking jacket, man.
Thanks.
So what now?
I don't know.
You tell me.
What do you mean?
What you want.
Fuck off.
Let's go.
What?
[Pete] To Seattle.
What about Dad?
Uh...
I'm gonna have to face him eventually,
before he dies and my resentment petrifies.
At least you'll be there.
You sure?
Definitely not.
[laughing]
So we should probably hurry.
Besides, it's a longer drive back than it is forward.
Right?
[car door opens, closes]
["New Partner" by Will Oldham playing]
♪ There's a black tinted sunset with the prettiest of skies ♪
♪ Lay back, lay back, rest your head on my thighs ♪
♪ There is some awful action ♪
♪ That just breathes from my hand ♪
♪ Just breaths from a deed so exquisitely grand ♪
♪ And you are always on my mind ♪
♪ You're always on my mind ♪
♪ You are always on my mind ♪
♪ But oh, I've got a new partner riding with me ♪
♪ Yes, I've got a new partner now ♪
♪ Well, I would not have moved if I knew you were here ♪
♪ It's some special action with motives unclear ♪
♪ Now you'll haunt me until I've paid for what I've done ♪
♪ It's a payment which precludes the having of fun ♪
♪ But you are always on my mind ♪
♪ You're always on my mind ♪
♪ You are always on my mind ♪
♪ But oh ♪
♪ I've got a new partner riding with me ♪
♪ Yes, I've got a new partner now ♪
♪ Well, the sun's fading faster, we're ready to go ♪
♪ There's a skirt in the bedroom that's pleasantly low ♪
♪ And the loon's on the moor, oh, the fish in the flow ♪
♪ And my friends, my friends, they still whisper "hello" ♪
♪ We all know what we know, it's a hard swath to mow ♪
♪ When you think like a hermit, you forget what you know ♪
♪ But you are always on my mind ♪
♪ You're always on my mind ♪
♪ You are always on my mind ♪
♪ But oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ I've got a new partner riding with me ♪
♪ Yes, I've got a new partner riding with me ♪
♪ I've got a new partner now ♪
[pensive music]
♪