Okay, Sandy, your surprise is just a few more steps away.
Gosh, fellas, I can't wait to surprise!
The Museum of Bikini Bottom History?
How'd y'all know to take me here?
You gave us these invitations.
And boy, am I glad I did.
I'm just itching to learn all about the rich history of Bikini Bottom.
And I will be taking notes.
My research is going to be featured in a scientific journal, The Naval Gazette.
I love gazing at my navel.
Hi.
Here you go.
Let's see here.
One, two... I lost my place.
Look, the first artifact.
Bikini Bottom's oldest security guard.
They should dust these old robots.
Hey, can't you read?
It says no touching.
Sorry.
All right, youngsters, in you go.
Now don't cause any trouble or you'll have to answer to me.
Hello?
Welcome to the ancient past, before Bikini Bottom was Bikini Bottom.
They say the exhibits here date back at least one gazillion years.
Uh, you sure about that math?
Uh, me do math good.
Look here, fellas.
Millions of years ago, this here land was called Bikini Top.
The elevation was lowered due to natural erosion.
That's not how it happened.
Don't worry, Sandy.
We'll tell you the true story.
Yeah, it goes like this.
A gazillion years ago, Bikini Top was hit by a humongous anchor.
The anchor flattened the hill to the bottom of the ocean, which is why it's called Bikini Bottom.
And then, the anchor was so heavy that a bunch of buildings got plopped up out of the ground.
Bikini Bottom?
You mean to tell me the very anchor we're standing inside now is the one that created Bikini Bottom?
Yep, I see.
Looks like this floor covers Bikini Bottom's old pioneer days.
Wow, a genuine antique rock.
The pioneers used to ride these babies for miles.
I wanna try!
Giddy up!
No trick roping!
Turn hooligans!
Sorry, sir!
Look, Sandy.
In the old days, the pioneers used to milk dairy urchins on their homesteads.
It was a simple, honest life without an ounce of greed.
Another full pail, Bessie.
I reckon I can barter it for quite a bit with this.
Maybe for some thicker gloves.
The pioneers have to watch out for those dirty, stinky outlaws.
Oh, no!
It's the Grunchy Gang!
Ooh, something smells fishy.
We're here to take that valuable little urchin off your hands.
And claws.
Not so fast, you filthy felons!
Fortunately, Sheriff Pants and Deputy Star brought law and order to the land.
We're here to clean up your act.
Get him, boys!
Ah, bubbles.
And with law came commerce.
Thus, Bikini Bottom's first restaurant was opened.
The Krusty Kreamery.
Care for some souvenir milk?
I'm not thirsty, thanks.
Suit yourself.
I reckon we've stepped into Bikini Bottom's industrial revolution era.
Wow!
A Model C boat?
Says here.
Don't read that, Sandy!
We'll tell you the real story.
SpongeBob, what's the story?
Well, Bikini Bottom's own titan of industry, Mr. Puff, ran the first successful boat assembly line.
It was important for every worker to perform as efficiently as possible.
Speed up line number five!
Speeding up line number five!
In a minute!
Sometimes they get a little too caught up in their work.
Here, watch this.
Whee!
Whoa!
But being a shrewd industrialist, Mr. Puff also owned the hospital next door.
Beep!
Now hold it just a darn minute.
Ain't no way these screwball stories are true.
Let me read that plan.
Titan of industry, assembly line, injuries, hospital next door.
Beep!
Well, twist my tail.
Y'all were right.
Told ya.
I knew Bikini Bottom's history would be colorful, but I'm starting to have more questions than answers.
Maybe this question mark on the top floor is where you get your questions answered.
You forgot to push these.
Psychedelic Sea Era.
Deep Disco Era.
New Wave Nitwits Era.
Nautical Nonsense Era.
This sure is a weird museum.
Huh.
I guess this is the ghost exhibit.
I think it's under construction, Patrick.
Oh.
I can't wait till I put the ghosts in.
Wait a second.
Is this a denture applicator?
Orthopedic jet boots?
The atomic adult diaper ray?
We're adults?
What in tarnation?
This ain't no regular future, fellas.
This is a future ruled by Old Man Walker!
That's right, you hooligans!
I said no touching!
Sorry!
You three have seen too much!
And now I'm going to get you!
Stay right there!
Run!
Come on!
Please, old man Walker!
We won't tell nobody about the future!
Hey, everybody!
We've seen the future!
But it's a secret!
Well, there goes Bikini Bottom's entire past and future.
So Sandy, what'd you think?
I'm still skeptical.
Bikini Bottom's past was a bit too nuts for this old squirrel.
But hey, at least Bikini Bottom is normal now.
Yep, totally normal.
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